


Ain't On the Surface

by flowersandteeth



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky is dead, Civil War Team Iron Man, First Kiss, Insecure Tony Stark, James Barnes - Freeform, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Short One Shot, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 10:57:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20256985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowersandteeth/pseuds/flowersandteeth
Summary: Bucky's been dead for a long time, and James can't take pretending anymore. So he doesn't.





	Ain't On the Surface

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by: You're Somebody Else by Flora Cash
> 
> I'm a fic fan more than a canon fan, so I'm sorry about any inaccuracies or OOC stuff.
> 
> Hope you enjoy <3 <3

"You're leaving me for _him_?" Steve exclaims, anger quickly overtaking the hurt disbelief on his face.

James' jaw is so tight he's surprised his teeth aren't cracking.

"No, Stevie." He pretends not to see Steve flinch at the nickname. "I'm leaving because you _lied_. You knew I murdered his parents, and you lied. You lied to _me_, you lied to _Tony_."

"There are other things, but, I just--" James hesitates, looks down, swallows.

"You're not the guy I fell in love with, anymore."

He looks back up.

And that's it.

That's the end of the Great American Love Story, the legendary, 'star-spangled romance' that spanned almost ten decades. Through war, through incalculable violence and years of separation, after an impossible, _insane_ reunion, and, fuck, an engagement--James winces internally--it's over.

He pulls off the ring and sets it down on the kitchen island between them. Steve makes a sound like the wind's been knocked out of him. His expression fits: shock, breathlessness, pain.

"It's over, Steve."

***

James isn't sure how long he's been hitting the reinforced bag; he'd lost track after the first hour.

Tony finds him.

"Hey, Armed and Dangerous, those bags don't grow on trees, you know."

James stops, halts the swing of the bag. He steels himself a moment, and then smirks over this shoulder.

"Yeah, well, a certain benefactor of mine has more money than God himself, and probably more brains than that; I'm sure he could find a way to make it happen."

It earns him a chuckle, and part of James preens in spite of his mood.

"Seems like a worthwhile endeavor," Tony says. He stops a couple feet from James and looks at him. His eyes are warm, but concerned; searching.

"You okay, Frosty?"

James gives him a tight smile, and turns back to the bag.

"I--uh. I ended things. With Steve." He chews his lip for a moment. Inhaling audibly, he turns back to face Tony, who looks dumbfounded. James shrugs one shoulder, sighs.

"It was coming a while. Just counting down to that last straw, you know?" He huffs a laugh.

"It never really occurred to me; us not being a unit. 'Til the end of the line', and all that." The ache radiates through James' chest, and he fights the urge to hug himself. He doesn't really want to bring Tony into this; it's not Tony's problem. It'd be easier to just push this aside for a little while and be superficial with the snarky genius.

He looks up, intending to crack some joke to steer them away from the storm that is James Barnes' personal life, but the words die on his tongue.

Tony looks...guilty.

Well, a mix of things, really: guilt is the most prominent, but there's disbelief and surprise, worry and....hope?

Before James can address any of what he's seeing, Tony's face shutters. His dark eyes go flat, tense, and his press-mask sympathetic smile doesn't reach them.

"Sorry, Buckaroo. That's rough stuff. I'd offer you a drink, but I don't have any of that Asgardian stuff laying around--I've got scotch. Wouldn't do much for you, but symbolically..."

James doesn't know what to say.

The billionaire keeps going. "Or vodka, if you're looking for a taste of the motherland--"

"Tony."

"--all I'm saying is we've got options, Barnes, options. They're limited to various kinds of liquor at the moment, but if you're looking for something in particular, I'm sure we could--"

"_Stark_."

Tony pulls up short, jaw clicking shut.

Bucky closes his eyes, suddenly tired. He wipes a hand down his sweat-tacky face, and looks to the side, over the other man's shoulder. Opens and closes his mouth wordlessly for a moment, and then:

"It was hard. But...you know something?"

He pauses. His skin feels too tight. Tony doesn't say anything.

"It wasn't as hard as it should have been."

The other man's silence is somehow both encouraging and nerve-wracking, and James can't quite work up the courage to look him in the face. He swallows, the click of his throat loud in the empty gymnasium.

"I feel like I should've been...devastated, broken, after...At just the thought of doing it," James says. "But I--I wasn't."

Suddenly, he needs Tony to know, needs to tell someone, that maybe Bucky Barnes didn't survive the fall from that train; not in the ways that count.

James inhales sharply, flexes his hands in and out of fists at his sides, builds it up...and then the wind goes out of his sails.

"It should've been harder," he finishes, lamely.

There's so much more he wants to say, but he doesn't think he could muster up the energy or the guts to pour it all out right now. He doesn't know if he could make it through the reveal, the truth of the matter.

Steve had wanted Bucky, that silver-tongued sniper, the childhood best friend and lover he'd known so well, and James had tried to give it to him. He really had. He'd stayed close, reminisced, fought and ate and slept by his side. The newness of the modern world had given him an excuse, something to blame for the growing distance and discomfort. But denial...denial's a weak veneer, and James has never been the type to hide.

(He'd laughed bitterly about it in private; the bullheadedness being the one thing he did feel comfortable attributing to the man he used to be.)

He _is_ aching; not because he'd left the man he'd loved his entire life, but because of guilt--because he couldn't convince himself to stay. He's been beating himself to hell since the moment he looked up at Steve and felt...nothing.

"--ey, Barnes," Tony's voice cuts through the silence.

The soldier looks up at the other man.

The genius is projecting perfect ease, posture relaxed, both hands held up and open, his face just the same. His eyes are cautious, but the soldier can't really blame him for that. Not right now, when even James is a little worried he might fly apart.

Now that he's got his attention, Tony nods, licks his lips--the only sign of nerves.

"I didn't wanna do it without saying something," he says, "but I'm gonna put my hand on your shoulder, now; is that alright?"

After a pause, James nods shortly.

Then, as if in a dream, he watches his own hands reach forward to gather the smaller man to his chest.

To his intense (but foggy) satisfaction, there's only a moment of stiffness before Tony settles without protest. One of his arms slides up between James' shoulder blades while the other wraps tightly around the soldier's waist. He can feel Tony's breath against the side of his neck.

There's a hesitant, open energy between them, but neither man speaks.

James holds on for a while.

***

There are a few days of awkwardness after the embrace in the gym ("Um. Well," Tony'd coughed, "that's about all the Christmas spirit I think I can handle, Frosty," and he'd practically run from the room), but they fall back into their normal dynamic of easy, casual companionship fairly quickly.

James is incredibly grateful for the genius' quips and comments throughout leisure time and training alike, and the light conversation when Tony tinkers with the arm, because his other relationships are not rebounding nearly so well.

He only really has history with Sam and Natasha, and thankfully they're both of the mind to mind their own business, and interact with him per usual (Sam, slightly less so), but the others...the others radiate disapproval. They mostly just cold-shoulder him: avoid bringing him into conversations, find reasons to leave the room if he walks in. They're not giving him the stink-eye or anything, but they're not really going out of their way to be subtle, either.

At the opposite end of the spectrum are Tony's friends. Rhodes, and Spider Kid, and a few others that don't live at the compound. They're people who are unfailingly supportive of Tony, and the billionaire must have said something, because suddenly, they're supporting James, too. They draw him into their midst without him realizing.

On weekends Peter visits, James has a teenager-shaped satellite.

On the rare days Rhodes stops by the compound, the colonel goes out of his way to trade quips with James over coffee, ropes him into his and Tony's easy back-and-forth schoolyard ribbing.

The first time Ms. Potts greets him casually by his first name ("James," she says, smiling warmly and professionally), he has to resist the urge to look over his shoulder to check for the person she was actually addressing.

Hell, even Tony's driver, Happy, acknowledges him with a casual nod when they cross paths.

James definitely could've struck out on his own long ago; he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself (his solo stint after his last escape from HYDRA was evidence enough of that). Now, with these steadily forming relationships...He's grateful for the reasons to stay.

He finally feels like he's living James' life, not trying to carry on Bucky Barnes' legacy.

*

Through all of this, Steve is...there.

James can't be around him, around the broken looks Steve keeps sending his way. He doesn't want Steve to figure out that James isn't hurting for the same reason he is. He may not love the man, or see him the way he used to...but he's not soulless.

But after a few weeks, Steve starts trying to reach out. 

Little things: popping up in the gym at the same time James is in there by himself, appearing in the rooms he happens to be in. James is beginning to suspect Steve might be asking FRIDAY about his whereabouts.

This has the opposite effect of what he knows Steve's going for. It pushes James to go where Steve can't.

*

The first time he shows up at the door to the workshop after everything, without an prosthetic-related issue, he's not sure he'll be welcome. He is, after all, another reason most of the team has chosen to attempt to alienate Tony further, and even if it's not something he's doing himself, he's still kind of the root of another one of Tony's problems.

His concern (fear) is laid to rest as soon as he touches the indicated scanner and the door slides open with zero pause. He steps into the room, stares around in awe for a moment (he'll never get used to the future he sees in this room), and then his eyes fall on the man at the main work station, and his heart kicks in his chest.

Tony looks...really good. Great. He's digging around in one of the suits in nothing but a tight white tank top and old worn jeans, streaks of grease scattered over his exposed skin, a light sheen all over from the exertion involved in the physical labor of machine repair.

When Tony turns to reach for something, it puts James in his line of sight, and after a flare of surprise, he smiles with open warmth. 

Fine, Tony doesn't look good. He looks loveable. And fuckable.

The genius calls up to FRIDAY to turn down the music and strides towards James.

"Hey, Tasty Freeze, what's up? This a visit or a hideout?"

He says it so cavalier, like he isn't being put through the ringer by the things James has done, and it makes James want to hug him again.

"Why can't it be both?"

"Touche. I'm at a good stopping point anyway--by that I mean FRIDAY and Pep are both demanding I take a break--so how about you give me another reason to stop for a while?"

It's innocent, definitely just the inventor offering to eat some lunch or just sit and shoot the shit, but a light flush that has nothing to do with work blooms across Tony's cheeks. 

James' sharp eyes track the physical manifestations of this man's desire for him, the signs Tony always tries to keep hidden: the flush, the dilation of his pupils, the almost jitters, the aborted reaching motions and the way his eyes cling to different parts of James' anatomy when he thinks the soldier won't notice.

He notices. He's always noticed. But he's never pushed or mentioned any of it.

Now, he stalks forward into Tony's space, confident, but carefully monitoring the man's reactions in case the advance is unwelcome. 

Tony's eyes go wide, but he doesn't step back.

God, he's adorable. He lights a fire in James that hasn't been lit since before HYDRA, since before all of the bullshit with the return of the 'Rogues'. Through all of his internal conflict, through all of his uncertainty about his place in this new order that's been established here at the compound, he's never really doubted Tony's support. It's why he'd opened up so easily after everything, and why he's here now, staring down at the smaller man, the smaller man who is actually so much bigger than all of the people who try or have tried to crush him down.

"I can give you plenty of reasons," James says, smirking as he pulls the genius into a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! <3


End file.
